Interpersonal communication is where I am learning to make better choices. I realize that when I have a problem, it is my own problem. My perspective is causing me to want something other than what I am getting. When I blame, judge, or attack, my resistant energy creates an equal and opposite energy to be generated in return. It's physics!
In seeking a successful exchange, I can express my concerns and feelings calmly and ask for the other's help. Here are 4 Steps: 1) State the Problem, what is bothering me? 2) Tell my Feelings, how this is affecting me. 3) Specify a Solution, state what I would like in a firm, non-hostile tone. 4) Describe the Consequences; mention the positive results that will happen if the other fulfills my request for help.
It helps to speak up immediately, be direct, be pleasant, and stay calm. Sometimes the other may not understand, or may take offense. If that happens, I continue repeating my message until it is received. It's important to keep to the issue at hand, to continue stating my message until the other acknowledges what I am saying and complies with my request.
I'm doing a role-play scenario on this tonight. That's where it gets real. Theory is one thing; practice is where the growth occurs. Wish me luck!
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